Monday, August 30, 2010

10:34 PM

So here I sit. I originally came to the laptop to look up some study materials for my classes this week. Where do I find myself instead of Blackboard???

Facebook, mostly. Although some smattering of looking at the blogs I keep up with also occurs.

And that's just the way I roll. I get distracted, and I get behind. I forget to do things, and procrastinate, and don't do other things.

This is absolutely one of the many reasons I find myself with this desire. A desire to sit down, read my Bible, and learn something. To not only read for the sake of my "to do list" or to check it off and feel good about myself for the rest of the day. But because I haven't done it on a regular basis, and because I am a Christian, with a true desire to be closer to God, I desire to be in His word.

I find myself at this very moment kicking myself for blogging about this, instead of doing something about it.
I am married to a future pastor, and I don't even read my Bible on a regular basis, I truly am a hypocrite. I am a professing Christian, who talks about missions, and how I can minister, and I don't even minister to my own spirit.

I am in trouble. And I desperately need prayer.

I also need to ensure that my schoolwork doesn't come before the time I should be spending with God.

I think the biggest reason I don't read my Bible is because I'm not really sure how to read in such a way that I get anything out of it.

This year I am president of the Biology Club, and in one of the other clubs I was in last year our president brought a "devotion" at every meeting we had. I want to be that kind of president. The one who doesn't care that half the time I sat there wishing we could "get on with it" or that wants to bring the members of the club to a deeper understanding of how God works in us.

My heart is crying out for God and for His word, and I don't understand why I haven't answered until now.

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