and you take me the way I am....

I have been thinking about this all night, because last night was kind of rough.

Here's the gist of it, Whitfield and I have been married three months now, and I still have thank you's to get out. I know I'm a slacker, and I have never said otherwise! Whitfield and I were invited to a family gathering at his granny's house and I haven't yet given her the thank you I owe her. Now Granny is a classic southern belle, and very concerned with etiquette. So I am not in her favor right now, and she let me know it. The whole evening was very tense and I left feeling like a complete loser.

I came home and being the emotional person that I am, I sat in Whitfield's arms and cried.

Whitfield and I had some really good talking time, and he cheered me up by being his sweet goofy self (which I love). After that we watched a TV show or two and then went to bed, where we talked about a few issues and sensitivities I'd been feeling.

My darling husband made me cry some more with his amazing level of understanding. He listened, he hugged me, he told me the things I wanted to know, and not just the things I wanted to hear. He is not a typical man, and I love him more than I could ever express.
And as I went to sleep, and even when I woke up this morning, I had a song stuck in my head.
It is called "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson. A simple, sweet song, whose chorus changes, but the end chorus is this;

"I love you more than I could ever promise,
And you take me the way I am"

This just struck me last night as I was almost asleep because I don't deserve someone to love me, to listen to me, to be my shoulder to cry on. I have days where everything is golden, but there are also many days when I get angry for no true reason. I am hormonal (simply because I am a woman) and I have days when I get a little depressed. Whitfield takes me the way I am. He loves me when I am upset, or mad, when I feel depressed, when I don't make any sense. He loves me when I am crazy, and goofy, and laughing up a storm. Whitfield obviously expects some things from me, but at the same time he doesn't ask for much. He shows me that I am loved just the way I am, and it really reminds me that Whitfield is the example of a greater love for me.

See, I am accepted by a Higher Power. Not some vague, enigma of a spiritual being, but a God who is my Father, who has been there for me when I needed Him. Who listens to me, who helps me and who loves me. He wants me to love Him, to be His. He desperately desires to be my lover, to be my soul's fulfillment, and not only does He do all that, but He has blessed me with a living, breathing example of His love and acceptance here on earth.

I can't even begin to explain the affect the last three months have had on me. Being married to Whitfield has been the best and most enlightening experience of my life and I can't wait to see how much the next 75+ years will go by (Whitfield and I are shooting for at least our 75th wedding anniversary, it's one of our little jokes :)

I love him. More than I think he could know.